Thursday, September 17, 2015

Motherhood Initiation

I always knew it would happen at some point. I had been warned several times by many, including my parents, that I would be faced with the evils of baby fecal matter. I was told that over the course of the first few years, I would collect poop stories like baseball cards. I've heard every variation of baby poop stories from diaper blow-outs to being pooped on in public to finding a baby smearing poop all over the crib after nap time. (Okay, ewww.)

Well, today was our day!

After we brought Presley into our room this morning, she played by herself while we continued to half sleep, half appease her. She babbled, whined, played with a burp rag, leaned on S, climbed on top of me, and did everything in her power to get our attention. My alarm clock sounded at 6:43 AM (because I usually set the clock on odd times). I hit snooze and then rolled back over, barely peeking my eyes open to rub Presley's back. As my hair grazed my shoulder blade, I felt something wet. I thought, Awww, man. There's spit-up in my hair. Like most new moms, that didn't faze me. I closed my eyes and hoped for just a few more minutes of quiet.

When my alarm went off again five minutes later, it was time to really get up. I turned off the alarm, and then propped myself up on my elbow to greet Presley. She shrugged her shoulders and grinned from ear to ear like an excited kid visiting Disneyland for the first time. It made me feel so special! I grabbed my hair to find the spit-up I felt earlier. I pinched a few strands of my hair, slid my fingers to the ends, and then wiped the evidence on a burp rag.

But surprise. The evidence was brown, not white. It didn't take me long to figure out what happened. After a bath for her and showers for us, I hustled to get ready for work. We cracked several jokes throughout the morning. While I pumped, I posted on Facebook:

Happy Tuesday! I just sent the following text to a co-worker: 
"Going to be a little late, because parenthood is super glamorous, 
and we woke up to a smiling Presley Noel with poop all over our bed. 
It may or may not be in my hair. (emojis: baby face, poop, hair flip)"
So there's that.

I finally had a reason to use the poop emoji. It didn't take long for a friend to point out that it was Wednesday, not Tuesday. I replied, "So you know exactly what kind of morning it's been!"

 I've learned that this motherhood initiation process is going to be life-long, isn't it?


Alana Livingston said...

Oh wow! That poop story might be the best I've heard!

Brita Long said...

Bwahahahaha, that's hilarious. But it could be so much worse.