Wednesday, March 18, 2015

A New Frame of Mind

Thank you, friends, for your encouragement after Monday's post. Sometimes I forget who/how many read this little space of the internet until I receive thoughtful blog comments and text messages and e-mails and What's App messages and FaceTime calls. So much support, and I thank you. Really. From the bottom of my new mama heart 'neath a tank top doused in spit up, thank you. Having a newborn is such a gift. There are so many special moments with this tiny human being who has made me a mother and will, undoubtedly, teach me as much as I'll ever teach her, if not more. This child is priceless and wonderful, so naturally, no amount of difficulty in adjusting to this new life will ever outweigh how precious this time with her is.

Yesterday she fell asleep during tummy time, and then I fell asleep snuggling her. Check out my under-eye bags!

I felt like sharing that post, because guess what? Becoming a parent can be hard, and there's no shame in that. Sometimes, it's hard for five minutes; sometimes, two hours; sometimes, three months, as I'm told by friends who had colicky infants. It's different for everyone, and it's just a fact of life. Whatever length of time, it will pass, but it's okay for parents to say aloud that it's hard and exhausting and frustrating. I'm not afraid to be honest about that. Everyone shows their best selves on the internet for myriad reasons, but ultimately, someone's "best" isn't the same as "real," you know? I do not have postpartum depression, not that that would be shameful, but if I did, it sure would be nice to know/read that someone else is feeling defeated, too, even if just for a day. Without a support system in Memphis, the UPS delivery guy is our only visitor, so that makes this time a little isolating too.

Have you seen the movie About Time? I highly recommend it. (It was directed by Richard Curtis, the director of Love Actually. Both have that "life is so much more than we see in the moment," "feel good" quality.) Tim, the main character, closes the film with: "I just try to live every day as if I've deliberately come back to this one day, to enjoy it, as if it was the full final day of my extraordinary, ordinary life." Beautiful, right?

We're trying the five S's from The Happiest Baby on the Block, giving her daily probiotic drops, giving her fresh air and sunshine, loving on her ever-growing self constantly, and just plain ol' accepting that things are what they are today -- and that tomorrow is a new day.

Another good cure for the exhaustion? Writing her birth story. Nothing fills me with more accomplishment, joy, and wonder than reliving her birth and the several hours that followed. Story to come soon!

8 comments:

Lo Canuto said...

There you go! We also live far from our families and friends here in AZ, but are little by little making new ones! The happiest baby book (the DVD actually!) worked awesome for our little guy. Here's a final thought: It takes time for US grown up veterans to adjust to anything in this life, So just imagine, though, how tough it is for a newborn to adjust to life outside their sacred space inside of us! It takes time. XOXO!!

Jenn said...

Love this. I can only imagine how isolate you might feel - I've been there before, but without the baby and all! The internet it a funny place and most people don't utilize it for all the right reasons - the good and the BAD.

Meg Cady said...

If anyone ever doubted that you are one of the most authentic and genuine person on the internet they can come speak to me and I will set them straight (not saying any one did that... just saying it if ever came up I've got yo back girrrrrllll)
Cant wait to read yalls story!!!

Love you !

Darby Hawley said...

We are alone in Houston without family too and I get that isolation; it's tough stuff. But you're doing a great job mama!!!

Princess Burlap said...

First, I love your identical faces in that picture. Second, the fact that you're doing this with no support system is just one more way you're incredibly brave and strong. Love on ya!

Lindsay @ Trial By Sapphire said...

It will be interesting to see who she looks more like as she grows. Sometimes we think she is allllll me, and then other times, she really looks like her dad. Oddly enough, I also think she looks completely different when sleeping vs. awake. Is that weird?

Lindsay @ Trial By Sapphire said...

Thanks, Darby! You are the BEST new mama supporter!

Bev said...

This photo is too precioius. Speaks volumes of how rewarding Motherhood is, and inspiring for me planning to be in your shoes soon!

My husband and I made a recent move to Nebraska... away from all family and friends. I fear that it'll be so lonely for Baby and I when the time comes, but we must not forget... we have AMAZING husbands that are great fathes. Without LOVE and a solid relationship between baby's parents, we have nothing. As one of your followers on social media, I can already tell you are doing one fine job and there's no stopping you now ;)

xo, Bev